So I told God the plans I had for my life and He listened intently. I used elaborate details and vivid description. I explained to Him my hearts deepest desires and "needs" and the goals I had set for various stages of my existence. At the end of my story, He sat there in silence simply contemplating the words I'd spoken, weighing them out carefully and taking consideration of my infantile ability to plan. I'm sure He found it adorable.
Then He smiled ever so slightly. I was pleased because, that meant that it could work out. Pride began to swell within me because my plans made sense.. AND it had every opportunity to give Him glory, while doing things I loved. How could He deny that I was on to something? My plan was flawless!
Then.. he chuckled. My smile switched into a different gear, one of uncertainty. Why was He laughing at me? All of my insecurities welled up within me in one swift wave and my eyes began to water. He continued to chuckle and my emotions shifted to something else. Frustration. Why would He laugh at me? So I began TELLING Him what my plans were again and arguing on behalf of every dream I'd ever conjured. I was relentless. He sat there ever so patiently and listened as I complained and ranted and argued, simply smiling.
I gave up.
"Are you finished?" He gently asked.
"Yes..." I replied.. defeated and exhausted. My heart sunk, along with my expression. I was humiliated. The tears began to fall.
"My child..." He started. He drew me close to himself and cradled me at His chest. "I need you to understand something. Your plans are not laughable, My love. I do not laugh because they are ridiculous or because they are extreme. I laugh because I'm excited for the opportunity to show you what dreaming is all about. The plans that I have for you are beyond any dream you could ever imagine. Your best efforts will fall so short compared to what I have in store for you. Trust me, My love.. and I promise that you, too, will one day laugh at the plans you made.. because I have something so much better in mind."
I listened intently as He whispered and my heart grew warm. I was ashamed of how I'd behaved. "Forgive me, Abba." He squeezed me as He continued to cradle me. "God," I started, unsure of how to really ask what I was thinking. He had already begun smiling, knowing what I was going to ask. "is it absurd to keep hoping and dreaming for the things I enjoy?"
"My dear, I created you in MY image. I'm the biggest dreamer there is." He smiled as He stretched His arms out, pointing out all His creation. "Dream big dreams. But remember to dream in MY WILL... because I guarantee you something greater than you could EVER imagine."
I sat there thinking about what He had said--humbled yet encouraged. I wasn't sure what He had in mind. I didn't want to ask. I didn't know how everything would play out or whether or not I would get to do what I "thought" I wanted to do. I didn't know what to expect, what to think, or even what to say.
....
"I trust you." I finally whispered.
He chuckled as he tightened His bear hug. "You'll see. It's going to be INCREDIBLE."
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